I Miss My Dad

So fathers day was here and gone and I know I didn't post anything .I just couldn't bring myself to talk about my dad on that day.My dad died over a year ago from pancreatic cancer and a tumor on his liver.Me and my dad were born on the same day and on my mother and fathers wedding anniversary. I guess i was the gift that keeps on giving haha . Anywho my dad wasn't always around but when he was around he was a good dad. I was raised by my Nana mostly but he was still good. My dad was on drugs and alcohol during the last few years of his life ,but at the very end he wanted to be clean and that's what inevitably killed him the doctors said.That was one of the hardest days in my life because i couldn't find him for a few weeks and for it to end like that was tragic .I was all alone my sisters live in NY and my brother in LV. My father moved to AZ a year prier to his passing, he moved here to clean up and retire and just be normal. And that's what I wanted for him .So I help him as much as I could but I just couldn't keep up with his lifestyle. I think back now, maybe I shouldn't of gave up on him . So when i went to the hospital to ID his body the doctor told me he had been clean for 40 days and that was most likely what killed him ( going cold turkey). He had been drinking for many years and that what was keeping his cancer and stuff going. Once he stopped it was all down hill from there. I have 3 sisters and 1 brother and we all loved our dad very much .But i had a strong connection with him .I always believed in him even when everyone else turned there back on him. He would give someone the shirt off his back if they asked. Very loving..and loved his girls...with all that being said i just want to give honor to my father "may he rest in peace" "I love you very much and never stopped"